Andrew Young’s nonviolence message saves communities and relationships

In part, that was a selfish reason for my going to hear iconic civil rights leader Andrew Young speak March 9. Young was featured in a live discussion and recording of Coleman Hughes’ “Conversations with Coleman” podcast, along with Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. biographer Jonathan Eig, at the Buckhead Theatre in an event presented by the Free Press media organization.

Of course, I wanted to hear the insights, stories and reflections of Young, a former congressman, ambassador and Atlanta mayor — and a dedicated convener who has spent many of his 94 years working to bring people together.

Rage is easy, but developing relationships takes work

The topic of the evening was “Nonviolence in a Violent Age,” and it proved to be a fitting theme at a time when it’s so easy to feel angry.

Our doomscrolling, hate watching and brain rot sadly reflect a social media experience that rewards rage and keeps us from developing relationships and engaging in meaningful disagreements.

So, it might be easier to say, why should we be nonviolent when others aren’t trying to do the same?

That’s where Young‘s message of nonviolence is more important than ever.

“Violence destroys,” he said on stage. “Nonviolence builds.”

He also quoted another civil rights leader, Bayard Rustin, the chief organizer of the 1963 March on Washington: “Repentance need not be multilateral.”

I thought about that phrase for a while on the MARTA ride back to Midtown after the event. As I researched Young’s background for this column, I learned he has repeated this phrase before because that’s the point: We don’t have to wait for someone else to do the right thing.

This is important not only for building community, but also for sustaining and nurturing it.

It’s so easy to destroy and decimate, but it’s harder to gain trust and create what Atlantans know so well as the notion of the “beloved community.”

Practice makes perfect in when it comes to nonviolence

Credit: Arvin Temkar/AJC

Credit: Arvin Temkar/AJC

Young, who served as Atlanta mayor in the 1980s, explained that nonviolence is about self-preservation.

“We need each other,” he said. “You can’t have a white Atlanta and a Black Atlanta.”

While some skeptics may point to the historic racial segregation that physically divided the people of the city, his point is a much greater one about finding a sense of purpose, especially when it is needed the most during times of adversity.

I also appreciated his commentary on marriage and using his own relationship as an example for practicing better communication.

These tools of nonviolence apply to the relationships in our life, be they with our significant others, our friends or our family members.

“Don’t get mad, get smart,” he said.

I’m taking this to heart as someone who will be celebrating his 20th wedding anniversary in May and has been far from perfect — sometimes annoyed by an insignificant slight or doing more talking than listening.

But I feel better that the opportunities for redemption and renewal are available to us, even if we think we are stuck in our ways.

Andrew Young turned 94 on March 12 and watching him on stage, I marveled at his wisdom, his intellect and his compassion for his fellow human being — even for those in the past who had insulted or debased him.

He reminded the audience that practicing nonviolence is a decision and it takes a plan, a process and practice.

That’s why we need these reminders again and again whether at an Atlanta theater, a place of worship or a favorite gathering spot.

Imagine if we were all willing to commit to nonviolence, what a better world we would live in.

David Plazas is The Atlanta Journal-Constitution’s opinion editor. Email him at david.plazas@ajc.com.